10:01 PM ” i am heart broken “
10:13 PM ” bitch! are YOU there? “

10:22 PM ” oh hi. how are you?”

” i SAID i am HEART BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “

” yeah. when? how? who? why? “

10:23 PM ” did you see ironman like i told you to?!? “

” err…”

” bitch. never mind. she didn’t want me. “
” i went to see her. i tried her. i went in. and… and i didn’t fit! “

” huh? who? what didn’t fit? GOD. SEX? over sharing. no thanks! “

” gaaaaAAAAAAHHHHH! how is it you are in MENSA?!? the R8 bitch. “

” you committed adultery?!? “

{ oh Mary Mother Jesus, God … HELP!!! }

But who am I to judge?
He is after all a friend. And a friend in need of an ear.
Or rather in need of someone capable of relating and saying the right thing at the right time.

{ ok. I DO have friends like this! Now, back off. }

And I shamefully fitted the bill.
I’ve been there before: Sweating like a pig. Clogging my pores with carbon monoxide. Maintaining a speed of not more than 90 km/h to avoid the hair from totally covering my face / view. While desperately trying to look cool. Without establishing any eye contact with any other motorist. Uh huh. Not even a quick side glance.

I’ve also succeeded in ignoring the stares – not any ordinary stares, but those that bore holes and leaves an imprint in your back even hours later – by at least half the population of Kuala Lumpur. In IKEA. On a public holiday. Between Val and mom they bought half the store. Thought 60 bucks was way tooooo much to pay for transportation. Made their mayday call. Ignored the fact that I was in the coupe convertible. Not the 4WD. Which would render hopeless as well, since it’s a 2-door! So, off with the roof and I had 3 Billy-s, 1 rug, pussy willows and the likes sticking out of my shinny, sleek, black baby. Trying not to care about the heat, humidity, pollution, snigers and stares. Ha. Laugh.

And so, when the mayday *ping* came in tonight, I knew I had no choice but to listen to the ramblings that went along these lines …

The wretched flirtatious creature allure was too strong. Sure, I knew she would tease and only bring tension to its peak and then leave me hanging. But I had to. Her lines were just too seductive.

I knew seeing her would lead to adultery. But I was powerless, you understand? I can’t resist. My heart raced just thinking about her.

I was shaking physically when I opened her. Then I entered. And this is when it happened. I did not fit! I tried every position known to man. But I still hit the roof. And I didn’t even have any room to move.

blah. blah. blah.
Oh well, who would have known that he wouldn’t be able to fit into the Audi?

And since only a ‘drama queen’ is capable of such literary, I have to blog excerpts of the IM!
I’m already a.k.a ‘bitch’. It wouldn’t make any difference. Besides, he is too heart broken to be bothered by anything at this moment… until the next infatuation du moment swings by.

As for me, I’ve learned that @25 you’re an outcast if you were to arrive in a coupe convertible for your alumni dinner. Resulting in me only spending 15 minutes in such an affair in my entire lifetime now.

But for now, I need my beauty sleep! ‘Alumni’ deserves a blog on its own.


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