I was directed twenty.four hours ago (plus.minus a few minutes) to a photo showing a pool of fresh blood and what appears to be the man’s last possession on him – a pair of cheap rubber slippers. Needless to say I felt a lump in my throat and my knees (which noted isn’t very strong to begin with) buckled.
It has just occurred to me that my friend is in a vunerable position. Exposed to both physical and emotional harm… plus home sickness during the festivities.
I now feel extremely foolish and as usual self-centred since all this while I’ve been going on with my silly ways – yacking away about nothingness and randomness in my attempt to flee and block out my true state of mind and depression …
See, the videos he uploads via satelite phones hardly left any impression on me other than:
“my God, how on earth do they kill and fight with hoes, rakes and ‘bows and arrows’ made from branches and twigs?”
“who are exploiting these poor farmers?”
“how do you get thousands of poor and desperate people to organise themselves to commit hideous crimes against one another?”
“when will this ever end?”
I have always scrutinized and over analyse just about all situation in mainstream media. I do not trust the political manipulation behind the reporting. I am suspicious of the executives who sells news for a living. I wonder about the government (or lack of governance). The losses and “gains”. And above all everything is so removed from my daily life and what I was witnessing was akin to watching a reenactment of Hollywood blockbusters. His video didn’t strike a cord with me at all.
… but a simple pair of abandoned shoes by a huge pool of fresh blood on an empty field did it for me.
take care and be careful my friend. stay alert and focus.