I’m …, so I MUST …

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I’m EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I’m BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

I’m HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I’m ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I’m NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I’m JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I’m GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I’m a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I’m ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I’m OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I’m RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I’m an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON’T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.

I’m REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I’m DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I’m JAMICAN so I must smoke weed.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I’m SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I’m a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I’m IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I’m INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I’m NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I’m PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don’t wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I’m a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up whore.

I’m on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear skirts a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I’m a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I’m YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I’m RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.

I’m BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.

I’m a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I’m CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I’m MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I’m NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I’m a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I’m POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I’m ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I’m PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A’S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I’m INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I’m a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore.

I’m COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I’m RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool.

I’m GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO

I’m BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I’m PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I’m SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I’m POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I’m HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.

I’m a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.

I’m a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I’m BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.

I’m BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I’m ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.

I’m a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I’m SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I’m PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don’t like the SUN so I MUST be albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I’m a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn’t hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a wimp.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenaged drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

Im CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate gay people.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don’t.

I don’t like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sence of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an overcontrolling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY alot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I’m DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be overcontrolling and a bitch.

I’m a NUDIST,so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I’m TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I Must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I’m an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I’m INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I’m WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I’m a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I’m DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I’m a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I’m a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I’m ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I’m ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don’t like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT…I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I’m PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I’m PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I’m CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I’m SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blonde blue-eyed lesbian.

I’m a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY

I’m a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON’T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I’m SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I’m GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I’m Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I’m NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

… feel free to add on the list.
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