2 per cent

.
That’s what we’ve coined for ourselves – the ‘Gan Girls’.

Blood: AB-
2% of the world’s population

OTC side effects / allergies vagaries
2% of sample size

… and a whole host more which I can’t recall at 00:43 hrs. Having worked 16 hours straight. No lunch. No dinner.

– – – – – – – – – – – –
.

Trying not to gag over ultra artificial cheap tasting sushi in Sushi King, my sister expressed exasperatingly:
“why us?”
“have you ever asked? I’m so goddamn tired. I don’t even care for God. Ever. Not now. Never. Why should I? Why us? You know, why always us?”

Calmly, I drowned the lump of rice with a pathetic paper-thin slice of fish in soy sauce and fake wasabi paste; swirled the lump around and popped it into my mouth expecting an explosion that will drown any taste buds I have for a good 3 sushi. 4 in total. Just about nice to avoid gastritis. And just about enough to outlast the wasabi attack. But nothing. Darn the fake green crap!
What is it made out of?
I thought … as my sister was chomping her way through. Angry? Frustrated? Sad? Stress? Plain hungry? Naw… more like working her way with one sole focused concentration of utilising her RM60 voucher to the max. Trust me, for RM60, that is a lot of plastic-ky sushi!

Where on earth does she get these ridiculous vouchers from?
And why is it that the older you get, you hoard and track vouchers and coupons? And know what? This behaviour is exacerbated the moment a woman exchanges the ‘I do’ vows with another.. and yes, this is a serious ‘why’ contemplation question indeed!

“Bad karma,” I offered after much calculated deliberations.

She stopped chomping and gave me that look.

Then, suddenly she slammed the thin inferior bamboo chopsticks on the table, sending splinters and rice floating up, up, into the air.

Thank god for the lenses perched on my nose! As unsightly as they may look (in my opinion at least), today it offered me some protection. See, mom forbids me from eye laser treatment. Her reason? We ARE the 2 per cent people! Don’t take unnecessary risks she claims.

“Oh, don’t take it personally,” I continued.
“This is serious ancestral bad karma.”

Before I could even finish the “-ma” part of ‘karma’, my sis launched her verbal attack of:
“what bad karma? who? huh? who???? tell me who did what wrong?!”

“Common’. Great-grand-pa was a pirate! What do you expect?!?”

That was met with an incredulous look and I persisted in good humour …
“Ya know what? Everyone I tell thinks its ultra cool. I mean, look at it this way. How many people you know can boast of having a pirate – a REAL pirate in their family?”

That was enough to crack her up and she quipped, “God! YOU ARE MAD! They must think he was like Johnny Depp cool.”

Naw… great-grandpa didn’t apply kohl.”

She smiled. Definitely in a better state of mind and more relaxed mood by now.
And I continued, “Plus you know what makes them worship me?”

“What?” she asked with a smile.

“Grandpa is a Tomb Raider!”
.
.

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6 thoughts on “2 per cent

  1. i did not realize that eating sushiking can lead to so many issues…hehehe, altho u r totally right, it is damn plasticky i never touch it. btw, i thought u only touch those squeeze out by a japanese sushi master??

  2. nuts!Tomb Raider. I have to give you credit for coming up with that for otherwise boring archaeologists and historians! I can’t put the pirate piece together though.

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