dressing up as Superheroes or Super Villains

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When the invite from the Malaysian AIDS Council and Malaysian AIDS Foundation came in for their 17th Anniversary Annual Dinner, I went from kewl to OMG! OMG! OMG! What am I gonna wear??? DuuhhHHH … why the heck did I confirm I was going? Die. Die. Die.” within 10 minutes. Why?

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Did you ask WHY?
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Sigh.

Take a moment. Sit back and think of ALL the super villains {which I first thought would be cooler to be and my immediate first choice} and super heroes you know from childhood to now.

There’s ONE common element in all of them:
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SPANDEX!!!

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Male or female they are all dressed in tight body hugging, muscle, boobs, flattering spandex with ‘V’ cut undergarments! With the women superheros or super villains its a bonus issue with TWO ‘V’s – one down south and an inverted ‘V’ for the cleavage.
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Out of desperation I sent 10 emails out to friends for their opinions. Wonder Woman seems to be a hot choice, followed by Cat Woman and Poison Ivy. My only {woman} friend suggested:
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“you should be the Angelina Jolie character in Tomb Raider

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… and only hers seems to be honest flattery. Even then …

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Has anyone seen my flabs? Cellulite? et cetera … I swear it appears with age. It just happened the day I hit the big 3-0.

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I guess the ONLY person in this entire world understands my predicament is Mark Newport.

who? Mark Newport*. He seriously {jokes aside} knits superhero costumes!
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But at 7 grand a piece, I’ve to call it a missed and probably settle for a self-made-adaptable version of Mrs. Incredibles. errr… you think I’ll get away with a pair of black pants? Or … ok, I’ll wear my red turtle neck, red pants and black boots but no way am I doing the “V” thing! Now I pray {real hard} that no press photographers will take my photos. For once, I am not liking photo journos much!

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.* About the artist
Mark Newport was born in 1964 in Amsterdam, New York, and currently lives in Mesa, Arizona and works in Tempe, Arizona as a member of the faculty of the ASU School of Art. The artist did his undergraduate studies at Kansas City Art Institute (86) and went on to earn an MFA from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago (91). The artist has recently exhibited at the following venues: Greg Kucera Gallery, Seattle, Washington; Lyons Wier Gallery, Chicago, Illinois; John Michael Kohler Arts Center, Sheboygan. Wisconsin; Regina Gouger Miller Gallery, Carnegie Mellon University, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; Galerie Edward Mitterrand, Geneva, Switzerland; Western Washington University Gallery, Bellingham, Washington; The Lusty Lady Gallery, Seattle, Washington; Archer Gallery, Clark College, Vancouver, Washington.

Mark Newport’s work can be viewed at the Greg Kucera Gallery HERE.
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