phone sex {gawd} NOT halal-lah !!!

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sms: hmmmmm… mmmmm… mmmm
sms: Gawd! U!!!
sms: & here I m trying 2 remember #s wiv a splitting headache.
sms: Mad hatter!!!

.

I hit the “SEND” button.
Stood up. Depressed the flush button of the swanky (but way too low for the comforts of my disastrous knee) Johnson Swiss installment.
I had done nothing.
Disposed nothing.
{honestly}

But as if it was second nature (a mechanical movement) I have to flush before I vacate the stall, slide my O2 (yeah! it resurrected) into my DKNY pinstripe jacket’s pocket, run my hands under the slim Goethe tap, check my clogged pores in the mirror, dry off.

For once I am not making mental notes to call the facial lady. The facial lady is worth another blog. But suffice to say she wants to run off to every mountain, dessert, lake, jungle … with inhabitants of less than 10 (unclear at time of publishing if animals and plants are included – what about bacterial and uni-cell creatures?)  every 50 kilometres radius. I wished she would stop blabbering her fantasies away and leave me in peace.

But she wouldn’t.
For 2 hours she would cramp thoughts of hers into my head.
I can’t clear my head.
Likewise now.

I am still shaking off the recent phone conversation I had which I had to abruptly end with a:
.

chalo. I’ll call you tonight. Got to rush for a meeting.
… which is a-third of the truth.

The other third was:  I was stunned. Too embarrassed. Do not know what to do or say.
And the final third was:  I ain’t participating in no phone sex! Ever.

why not?
weird

…..For one, it is …errr… well, just weird ok?
…..{ I am a prude. I said it – happy? }
weird-er
…..It is just weird-er when it is a friend.

weird-est

…..explains its when we are both abusing respective companies’ resources.
…..He’s on sick leave utilising the mobile line meant for news reporting only.
…..I am @ work. And well, you know where I work! So, Mary, Jesus, Peter, Paul, Mark … bless us!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Listen. You. Yeah you.
It’s gonna take a while before I reconcile and come to terms with this awkward occurrence. So, you – yeap you (the one who thinks Durga is one hot chick of a Goddess), I am leaving you (high + dry) for now. I can’t imagine how we could have a normal conversation moving forward. About Amartya Sen’s social economics, Fidel Alejandro Castro Ruz political ideals, Bob Dylan – Bach – Björk …

(if I knew who took this lovely photo I would have given credit – sorry!)

hmmm… for all I know, you – yeap you, were pissed drunk and have no recollection what-so-ever about this. Whatever the case, knowing that you read this blog … do NOT ever bring it up… please … especially not in person.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
{ if you MUST know, I’ve got this thing about toilets … it’s very high up on my list of job selection criteria!!! }
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6 thoughts on “phone sex {gawd} NOT halal-lah !!!

  1. It's double dollop duuuuhhHHH … you still have a long way to get to the domesticated 'woman' status.:pIf you are in town, let's do donuts on Thursday. Neutral grounds, we both live at the opposite end of the globe.

  2. I wonder what was said above.I wonder who did it.lolHave to say that makes life colourful lah. Eh, I thought being kissed by a girl was worse. No? {gulp} unless you really like this guy. hmmm… do tell Princess! You still owe me double whollop whipped cream latte with donuts.

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