a little bit of advice

Dear H.I.T,


1. You dream of making obscene amounts of money.
….(a) You’ve been asked to re-do your job for the 10th time.
….(b) Your girlfriend dumped you for a shinny car.
….(c) You received a yacht club magazine by mistake.

2. Your first ‘pay cheque’ was from a car sales man/dealer/crook. It was half-a-day’s work worth your dad’s weekly wage in his secured government paper pushing job.

3. You know what is right, but the ‘pay cheque’ felt good.

4. 10 years later, you still make heaps more than dad. You made more last year than he ever did in his lifetime.

5. You hate mr. 35 blogs.
….(a) he’s an IIM MBA
….(b) he’s paid 3 times more
….(c) he maintains 35 personal blogs on company’s time

6. You maintain (a MNC sweat-shop) of 35 robotic programmers.

7. You hate all of them. One is a ‘monkey’. The other a ‘baboon’. Neither would just {poof} disappear.

8. Your boss is nice but you hate his guts.
….(a) he lives in a nice suburban home that appears to have jumped out of Desperate Housewives
….(b) his wife can’t make paratha or aloo ghobi and wears Jimmy Choo. 
….(c) his kids says “whaddya doing?” not namaste
….(d) he allows mr. 35 blogs to take the Nikon d700

9. mr. 35 blogs takes dogs, flowers, aloo ghobi, clouds, his 2 door shinny car, his Mont Blanc pen, his IWC watch, his many ridiculous inanimate objects.

10. You can’t decide if photos of the inanimate objects are more appealing or those of his ghee-obese family members.

11. He makes money on 33 blogs and stock photos. In addition to his pay cheque.

12. He makes money abusing company’s resources. He drinks. He smokes. He talks about a Grey Goose that tastes good. You wonder what it is and how it taste. But you tell yourself it is ok. You are after all vegetarian. :)

13. HR is stupid. What was leveling for?

14. Leveling made you poorer. Made your ‘monkey’ and ‘baboon’ poorer. Your boss chuckled at his 65Rs raise. You fail to see the humour. “They have all gone mad,” you think.

15. You stare at IIM’s application form. You need some non-BIT/IIT technical mambo jumbo ooomph to fill it up.

16. You ping me
……(a) I can do motherhood gibberish well.
……(b) I know how stupid HR works.
……(c) I’ve got an MBA.

17. “I” have applied to IIM thrice in the past 9 months.
……(a) “my” last name is Patel, Ghosh and Rao
……(b) “I” am IIT Class of ’96, ’80 and BIT Class of ’82.
……(c) finally {mebbe} Pfizer’s spam mail on discounts will excite me! not.

18. “I” failed twice. Witch blade and Cat woman comforted “me”.

19. I { without the ” ” } don’t get IIM.
……(a) how does a nation than churns computer geeks by the millions have such an unappealing website? 
……(b) and an unfriendly application form?
……(c) it’s criminal to send rejections that lacks sensitivity and finesse.

20. Listen. The real ‘I’ doesn’t want to go to IIM. 
……(a) the real “I” doesn’t want to step foot in Ahmedabad 
……(b) the real “i” does NOT believe in MBAs (despite having one)
……(c) the real “I” thinks Liar’s Poker is cosmic way cooler than Snapshots from Hell – The Making of an MBA.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
But this much I know. 
You, my dear H.I.T, should do the MBA to:
  1. avoid getting married
  2. delay adulthood and commitment (though what’s with the mega expensive apartment???)
  3. build on your personal collection of blue-blooded pedigree academic qualifications (for the heck of it – the: because I can reason and nothing more)  
  4. purify your soul through penance (ignoring the FACT that you are a very very nice guy – too nice) by blowing your mortgage on a piece of paper, a year of sleep deprivation, pent-up stress in a testosteron fueled dorm of people who have lived their lives chasing numbers and playing the level-up game, and of course eat your lifetime’s quota of greasy, overcooked, discoloured, watery food.
  5. to fully understand what made mr. 35  blogs, mr. 35 blogs.

    – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
    Readings that you might find useful { I didn’t, but of course I am anti-MBA }
    CIO Magazine: 10 Reasons Why You Should Get an MBA
    CIO Magazine: 6 Reasons Why You Should NOT Get an MBA
    MUST read BOOK
    { hilarious – recommended even to non MBA pursuers }
    – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
    P/S: sorry about late reply – been absolutely bonkers @ work. 
    Am off to bed – got to pick mr. fiancee at 5:30 am tomorrow! Wish us luck @ successfully living up to our team’s name – L.O.S.T
    chalo! gotta go now


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