no luck with banks this week

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This week itself I have blasted 3 banks and subsequently closed all of the accounts.

The Yellow Box
Last Friday I rushed across the road to KLCC in my 4 inch high heels to bank in an additional 1,600 upon sighting a -648 in my IBK statement. Strange. I thought. Why haven’t they called me if I overdrawn my account (again)? I tend to do it primarily because I can’t keep track … and because I’ve got too many accounts, both locally and overseas. It gets a bit confusing. But more so when the IBK screws up.

In the evening, the IBK statement showed I had 2,248.
hmmm… stupid bank; obviously everyone has incompetent brainless people working for them.

The following morning I got a call saying I had overdrawn by 500-ish and I was to cover the difference by 9:15am.

Hello? I am in the car. Stuck in traffic. No way in hell will I be able to get money from one bank to transfer over. Then I thought, wait a minute. I just banked-in the damn 1,600 for nothing. So, I called the number and got into a rather heated argument. Banks and I don’t generally get along. I have pretty much raged phone wars with most Banks and their respective call centers – internal or outsourced. The guy on the other end of the phone was dead on rude (as most of Bank staff over phones are, if you miraculously managed to get them to answer the phone in the first place). And naturally he said all the wrong things. 
(Well, everything will sound inevitably wrong when you’re talking to someone at the height of PMS! That much I can assure you.)
But putting the green font point aside for the moment, I still called the Branch Manager to lodge a verbal complaint followed by a written complaint yesterday. See, I can’t be held responsible and being charged a penalty if their banking system can’t reflect the correct balances – and on the extreme end of the argument, how would I know that they are not wrong again?

So, I shut all the accounts. I don’t need a bank who is not capable of meeting the first rule of thumb of banking: earning the customers trust to entrust you to keep their money save and sound – and that means accurate! 

The Phallus Logo 
“Hi. Good morning. Can I arrange to change RM200 notes into 50 cents coins? Need it by early April 2010”, I typed into the Lotus Sametime Chat.
Got to be specific I thought with the date. 
Also decided to play nice and not ask the Branch Manager directly.
“Sorry. We do not have stock.”
Stock? I thought innocently. I had expected the reply to be “sorry, you need to change RM500 minimum”, which is imposed by most Banks.
“Stock? No problem. I can wait for it to be arranged. Just need it in April 2010.” I countered.
“No. No stock in branch.” was the reply.
WTH?!? 
Why even bother having a bank then? A banking hall?
Naturally my blood raced and I am thinking of a burning banking hall etc etc etc.
Fine. God only knows how she managed to twist a customer into writing her a glorifying testimony of good service just before Bankwide appraisal time. Customer service my @#$% I thought. I wrote an email to the Branch Manager.
Not much success. Same shit. Just slightly (and I mean marginally) more refined. 
What came across was pure laziness. Complacency. Zilt initiative. 
I mean, this is me asking for it. Not some random stranger. 
Also had I been a 100% pure detached customer, I would have screamed the Banking Hall down.
Gahhh… I decided to try the Red Ceena Bank beside my office block. Sure they have it. But RM500 minimum. Gosh, I did a mental math on the weight of RM500 in 50 cents coins. You know what? This is gonna be a big transactional logistical mess. Sigh.
I decided to email two other Branch Managers of the Phallus Logo Bank. One responded promptly and apologise regretfully about not being able to secure RM200. But he’ll arrange for what he has and offered to ask neighbouring banks and businesses to make up the difference.
:) now… this is customer service.
So, remind me again why he isn’t much liked?
Not only did he and the branch had a great comeback in sales figure last year, they exceeded  their budget in one of the poorest location. Sigh.
As for the bigger picture, the Service Quality committee members (unlucky them, I am part of the committee! ha ha ha) are looking into this; the Retail Banking Director and CEO have been informed about the “how can we not have this facility?!?” by the 2 main champions of the SQ initiative who obviously see the need to change coins for primary school going kids and a strange heightened empathy for the pisang goreng man. 
The 3-Letters Singaporean
I’ve always liked them. More than10 years loyalty. Have written great recommendation letters in the past.
I faxed in my credit card points redemption 2 days ago. After I called in specifically for further clarity as the Enrich frequent flyer redemption, which was slightly more vague than the normal redemption for another set of pots, frying pan, juicer, Tupperware …
I did as I was instructed but received a phone call today citing that the Enrich redemption is not possible as the principal card holder (mom) and the frequent flyer card holder are two different people. So, I tried reasoning that, the supplementary card holder (me) is the sole user of the cards and have accumulated ALL the points in the first place. And the Enrich card belongs to the supplementary card holder. So, what’s the problem?
“NO” was the respond. 
Though said in a very polite and apologetic way, I am :
(a) having PMS – so, as mentioned, nothing is right. 
(b) nobody denies me my frequent flyer points. 
(c) never ever say “it’s company’s policy” – one of my biggest pantang word.
(d) why have an authorisation form when only the principal card holder can perform redemption.
(e) do not say “we have a wide selection of things to redeem in our catalogue”.
(f) do not say “we have stated it clearly in the T&C”.
I mean seriously. WHO THE @#$%-ing HELL READS THE DELIBERATE MICROSCOPIC TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF ANYTHING??? And didn’t I call in for clarification??? huh???? I freaking do not want another el cheapo good for nothing no value China Made frying pan!
So, thank you freaking 3-Letters Singaporean Bank! I am canceling your damn Preferred (my @#$%) Platinum Credit Card after 10 years … but only after I have redeemed 8 good for nothing no value China Made frying pan! Yup, I have that much freaking points! I hate you now with a burning passion and you are letter #3 I am writing this week.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Oh, {sheepishly} if anyone needs letters of complaints, I sure as hell have many templates to chose from by now.

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5 thoughts on “no luck with banks this week

  1. Its interesting that Banks are still not getting their act right despite all the technological advances, product complexity and competition.I've canceled all my credit cards leaving 2 only. 1 for emergency.

  2. 8 pans huh?1. ah ma2. ah por3. tai ma4. yi ma5. sai ma6. ah soh7. ah yee8. last one to throw at them lorsee, dear ahh… everything happens for a reason. :)Jokes aside banks must really review their benefits to customers.I find your frequent flyer obsession nuts! But hey, we are talking about our dear Penelope. :p

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