Work Diary: can’t think of a title but …

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For 2 days I was ashamed to have an MBA.
Should I take comfort over the fact that I was not alone when it came to the subject matter? – of not knowing precisely what a mission, vision and strategy really means. And to ‘draw’ a business plan.
In terms of shame, it wouldn’t surprise me if I was alone. More so with my low self assurance (yes, believe this!), resulting apparently from my need for perfection; of having a ‘Dominant-Conscientious’ profile, and of growing up in Splitville.
It took an ex-CEO of a competitor to educate all 26 (less a couple of participants who played hooky, unknown to them that such behaviour would be penalised during  the year end assessment) on Mission . Vision . Values . Goal . Objectives . Strategy . Business Plan . Business Model .
It took an ex-CEO of a competitor Bank whom we continuously poke fun at, to run us through tools – Porter making the most appearance followed by SWOT and its evil brother TOWS – yes, it exists!
For 2 days I was proud to have an MBA.
Aside from the ability to define Mission . Vision . Goal . I was ahead of the rest. Ironic because upon reflection, I have a relatively overpriced MBA and a degree in a major that was deemed unemployable by Malaysian Standards: Economics and Government.

Well, know what?
This came plenty handy with the PESTEL model where like a penguin full from his deep sea feed, I was able to regurgitate an impressive collection of abbreviations that was created by men* (and a few steely women*) elected into office and representing their nations at the world’s largest collusion (or cartel, depending on your personal level of cynicism) – the United Nations – as well as jargon that were related to economics, business, international trade and international relations.

Credit must also be given to all the toilet reading I’ve logged and the stacks of dogged-eared months overdue Economist, the much preferred Far Eastern Economics Review, and the paper with its long standing identity crisis – the International Herald Tribune. Before I steer myself back on track, indulge  me in one thought: does anyone really completes reading every leaf of the Economist within 28 to 30 days? I wonder …

Anyways, my pride of having a MBA, like all good things, was short lived when in not so many words, but through highly self reflective questions, my business model was torn apart – conceptually that is. And as always, I can’t decide which is more upsetting:
  1. I spent circa USD50K (fees alone) on the jargon and abbreviated names for treaties, world organisations, hopeless pacts by men (and steely women) in tailored made Armani or Hugo Boss suits made over days of good food in the Four Seasons of the world, or
  2. I am actually entrusted to contribute towards the Bank’s strategies…

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.* such as men and women at the type of ‘collussion-pact-meeting’ in my blog BELOW
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