Work Diary: compelling argument? or talking myself out of a job?


I did it again!

I now live to wait for every second to tick by … 
till the infamous December conversations
The one where all the Division Directors coup themselves up for a few days going through each and everyone’s name, line by line, discussing, debating, defending the work performance of their people. Even when results are financially driven, clearly quantifiable, the softer elements comes into light. Bright spot lights if I may add.
And for the ‘special’ ones, the bar is raised unnecessarily high.
Those where ‘exceed expectations’ is a given, but what ADDITIONAL contributions they have made. Successes they have had. Successes which are over and above their call of duty and more importantly outside their comfort zone.
Translated to simple English
  1. The “dan lain-lain” you are not paid to do but expected to do. 
  2. The extras you get rewarded for only EXCELLENT work done {and penalised if you boo-boo}… 
Simply because by being ‘special’ there is –
No room for errors.
No room for misbehaviour. 
No room for anything other than perfect.

All of this is in reference of the Management Rule Book and Standards of Perfection, which the ‘special’ ones have no idea what it is (unlike ISO) and is fluid. 

Of course NOT! Get real. I mean, this is life for real. 
Of course the ‘special’ ones do not necessarily like one another {‘necessarily’ being the operative word here.} 

See, on though on the whole there’s great mutual respect and support between most of the ‘special’ ones. But they are in competition with one another. However, unlike reality TV shows, they are mostly in competition with themselves and like everyone knows, they have to get along with one another to survive the cruel reality of being the ‘special’ ones. 
Despite being the rare fortunate ones who knows the inner workings of the December conversations, I chose to push and push and push … 
I should have stopped, but as if I was at the height of labour {not that I know what it’s like – ha ha}, I chose to field one question after another, one counter argument after another … interrupting him {mr. CEO} in mid-sentences on many occasions, giving reasons that sounded hollow to my own ears. 
If anything it was only not short of passion and emotions – amazing, given that I, personally, am not convinced over the cause and results it will yield. It’s a big risk. I’m not sure if it’s a risk we as a Bank should take. I am certainly sure {NOW!, though} it’s a risk too BIG for me to take – career wise.

I can pretty much hear the ‘flush’ sounds {of my career going down the drain} … recalling the same argument I once had with him in 2007 over some silly-definitely-not-worth-sticking-neck-out thing-y I wanted to do … and for what? To recall months later that the ‘toilet’ moment was the best moment I had in the Bank over the entire year! [read HERE]
With Lina {my personal coach} officially out of my life for 3 weeks, am I falling back to my old patterns? Should I have pick my fights better? Was this a fight I should have picked?




4 thoughts on “Work Diary: compelling argument? or talking myself out of a job?

  1. Pingback: office engagement… | {the other 1/2 of} Haque

  2. well dear we know you always have an opinion and let's put it this way, at least you have one and like you always tell me it's how its delivered, not what.i'm sure you're ok.

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