rubik’s cube

Yes, that’s what the ex- said.
Uh huh the very same one who didn’t have the courtesy to inform or cowardly drop the casual statement in between daily conversationS of:
“by the way I’ve been married for over two years now”
rather than have me stumble on his pixel wedding album on his Mac.
Now, given that I am the aggrieved person, I was allowed the caveat of: “you are not permitted to ask why or how was it possible that I could stumble, yes stumble, on his Mac”
I didn’t even care to explain that I wasn’t snooping around.
The fact was, I wasn’t. 
I was checking the wifi connectivity in the hotel room that wasn’t boosting my machine and there it was – the photos – in all its glory.
Now, let’s not get ideas about the hotel room either … it’s the farthest of truth from your imaginations.
In any case I got over it in about 48 hours.
Frankly, I was disappointed. 
Disappointed because I was not as depressed as I would have like to be.
Acute depression sheds at least 5 kilos off my weight with no effort.
Some 6 years ago (give and take a few months) when we broke up on my birthday (yes – arsehole! and as you can see I am very forgiving), I lost some 10 kilos despite being overworked, implementing SAP in a strange place eating huge helpings of humus and what not at 12 midnight only to hit the sack some moments later.
On a lesser scale, I wonder if that was all there was in 8 years of us being together.
Sure, we’ve always (and remain to be) best buds … more than anything else. But surely, after 8 years of trials and tribulations a normal couple of 20 years usually goes through, I had no acute depression? 
That I had moved on and forgave in less than 48 hours?
That I had not even lost 480 grams?
Sure, I continue to lament about the injustice and ill behaviour on his part.
More so it’s because: “I have the right to” and “I can”
But objectively {I think} it’s because: ‘that’s expected of society from me.’
Perhaps in my current infatuation with him{not the ex- but another guy}, everything else is less acute.
And since I am trying to forget him against the not so wonderful beginnings of 2012 for me, some suggestions or comments worth noting which I received from my ‘family’ and friends are:
‘gramps’: 
“do you want me to teach you how to appreciate single malt?” 
me: 
“does it make him go away?”
‘gramps’:
“it makes everything and anything go away.”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
me: 
“should I do Trans-Sib or Silk Road? 21 vs. 26 days + 3-4 days flights + transits.”
‘gramps’:
“traveling is too contemplative and long. single malt better.”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
VB:
“do drugs”
me:
“huh?”
VB:
“yeah. seriously {pause} why not?”
me:
{contemplative silence} “why not?”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
ex-:
“have you tried the rubik’s cube?”
me:
“no. why?”
ex-:
“Do you want to?”
me:
“no. why?”
ex-:
“it will give you a new obsession”
me:
{insert ex- full name here}, are you suggesting that {insert his full name here} is the same as a rubik’s cube?!?!” 
{voice raising for dramatic effect}
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
.
.
.
And perhaps in the darkest recess of my brain, I do visualise the ex- as … 
QUESTION: what’s with the 2 missing flying ducks?
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7 thoughts on “rubik’s cube

  1. @phil and @"girl"-friendAm 1001% OK!!!!!!!!!!!! {if you guys are referring to the ex- and the marriage and what not}I still have much to work on the "him" front!arrgghhhHHHHHHH!!!

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