when self praise {compliment} is demanded!

I heard over Hitz.fm that researchers have found that: 
if you can’t accept a compliment gracefully, you do not respect yourself
Coming from Hitz.fm, naturally no quotes were given on the source and no validation of the statement, etc.
That’s ok. It’s a radio station playing hitz targeted at a certain demographics, which frankly, I am not suppose to be tuning in any ways. But I like the morning crew purely for Ean. Can’t stand the ‘gotcha’ calls – that’s when I tune in to BFM. Or when Ean’s not around, it’s BFM. If you think that I have a prepubescent crush on Ean, think again! He just reminds me of my little “brother” Barrie N. in Al Rajhi Bank, which incidentally are childhood friends with Ean … hmmm… maybe it’s the water that they drink or the games that they play as toddlers that shapes them the way they are. 
Anyway, what’s not ok is it got me thinking. Mulling more like it.
The findings that is.
I do not receive compliments well at all. 
I am very bad at it. 
It makes me feel awkward and subconsciously I switch my weight from one leg to the other – I must stop slouching! 
Just so you know, I never knew how to slouch until I was about 11 years old, when standing in the middle of a covered patio, my best friend {LSY is her initials} made a comment as to how awkward I look standing erect and showed me how to shift my weight to one side. Since then, I am doomed and wishing I had better posture – a fact that eats into me almost daily now as I suffer the ‘aftermath’ of a collapsed spine. No, I am not complaining or blaming my best friend; just stating a fact.

Now, back to compliments

It’s not that I disagree with the giver.
More often that not I disagree with the giver, not because he or she is wrong, but they are under acknowledging or failed to recognise some finer details which I had thought was the clincher and not the things he or she is complimenting me on. {read: I AM a WOMAN … hence, hard to satisfy!}
And on other occasion I disagree because, being the anal retentive perfectionist I am, my self imposed standards are high and I can find many, many areas of improvements and am baffled at the compliment received. Did they not see all the flaws???
It’s not that I disrespect myself.
Is this even possible?

Do people even think about: do I respect myself? or should I be respecting myself?
This whole notion seems a bit strange to me.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
A not so strange notion, but excruciatingly painful to execute is: to write compliments about yourself in a third voice.
And I found myself doing this one weekend; not out of vanity but necessity.
It appears that with more public speaking and appearances, there is a need for me to provide a profile.
“Fine,” I thought and went about researching and reading what people normally put in theirs.
Then came the what I had thought to be the most difficult step in the entire process: shortlisting the ones that ‘speaks’ to me. The ones that I can identify with and would like to emulate my persona or personal branding.
Emulating for one is a bad idea.
Naturally, I can’t find a sample which I would have hoped to use like a cookie cutter.
Naturally that realisation brought an onslaught of thoughts that amongst others include:

why would I want to change and shape myself to be someone else … 
more so someone who’s image was probably conjured up and has very little semblance to the real person.
So given that that strategy didn’t work, I set about writing one from scratch.
There is give or take a rather set formula to go about it. 
A three- or four-step format everyone seems to abide with. 
Again, I pondered if there’s a reason or need to comply with the format, but it sure proved to be useful in getting me started.
As I progress over the days … yes, DAYS!!! I was suddenly alerted over the need to have variations for different mediums; i.e. for print, for verbal introduction, for seminars, for TV appearances … etc.
If that wasn’t bad enough, there was further segmentation based on target audience and Hail Mary! one have to have profiles prepared in different lengths; from the super succinct a couple of lines, to one that stop shorts at producing a biography.
Both extremes are nuts! if you ask me.
How can you say anything with two miserable sentences? which when verbally read out loud, the reader will not end up with a knotted tongue from being too long? Writing long sentences is my forte and on one two many occasions I have been told to “chop” my beautifully crafted sentences up. Look, its an art really to write long sentences that flows, doesn’t contradict or lose the reader half way through.

Anyway, as for the biography version … how the heck do you self praise that much???
And what happened to self praise is no praise?

Lastly, there’s the personal branding and image to be reckon with.
What’s the message?
That will ultimately set the tone.

Can I be fun? Flippant?
Or should I be boring?
A bravado piece that make you wanna puke?
Naturally there’s the danger of not being congruent!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

The below SAMPLE {I like!} of a short version for a MC to read out before I take the stage, was thrown out … and I’m back to the drawing board.

“Both analytical and creative, its no wonder Penelope has difficulty articulating what she does.
It gets more complicated with designations such as ROD, RTM, TOP and ROPECC*; which is the acronym of a 63-letter job title!
Having worked on transformational, change management, start-ups and M&A environments, Penelope’s experiences cover HR, service quality, BPR and corporate planning.
Known to change and shape organizations’ cultures by challenging norms with innovative ideas and strategies, Penelope has lead projects that earned prestigious accolades and awards such as Best Employers Malaysia, Best Employers APAC, and ServQual in 2011.
An adventurer and fundraiser who has traveled extensively and raised millions, Penelope’s interests, love for humanity and exposure have enable her to embrace a rich and different perspectives in life and work.”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

*  Rewards, Operational Performance Excellence, Change and Communication
{see… not only do I have an impossible name to pronounce in Asia, I’ve got ridiculous job tittles too!}


2 thoughts on “when self praise {compliment} is demanded!

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