the day I sniffed the same air as Price William + Kate …

I started off my ‘Thank God it’s Friday” by wondering if I should {or should not} succumb to the hat and/ or fascinator temptation… after all you don’t meet the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge or any British royalty every day … or every lifetime for that matter.
Frankly, that seemed like a better excuse than admitting to the fact that I am a Happy Valley Racecourse and Melbourne Cup addict, hence the hat and fascinator collection and temptation … but more of this later; though I doubt this piece of information is a shocker if you already know all the other more shocking revelations of Penelope!
A little regret crept in though as I walked out of Dome Cafe – the designated waiting place where I ended up having a heavenly {though way too large} Chai Latte and sharing the untouched fruit salad in addition to beef bacon rashers on toast.
The regret had nothing to do with the over indulgence or the fact that I ate a plate of stupid beef bacon rashers!!! See, there’s really only one REAL bacon in the world and it has to be from that pink little oink-y farm animal … so, in my books, beef bacon rasher is a real waste of calories consumption which I am regretting some 50-ish hours later at the sight of my side mirror reflection.
Anyways, the regret I am referring to above came when I spotted some 20-odd women with hats and fascinators secured to their heads sitting at the side walk cafes leading towards the KLCC Convention Centre. Being typically a woman, I stared a few moments longer, and am relieved to discover that those silly women {ahem} were promoting their accessories shop products and not potential luncheon partners of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge … uh huh, snob-berism and bitch-iness on my part!
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A few hours before that…
“I hate mobs! Can you imagine the craziness and the logistics involved in getting oneself to KLCC and out with 30,000 people there???” I had exclaimed, 80% of me wanting to give up my embossed invite… the only problem is whoever replaces me will have to have a close physical semblance as she passes through security with either my passport or national registration identity card.
“Oh, don’t worry. They are probably kids and will come by bus,” someone replied.
“Now, that’s worse! That’s 60,000 people then. Kids and their parent.” I retorted in disgust.
Promptly, I did the responsible Samaritan thing by forwarding the email from the British Consulate to invitees on the “TO DO” or rather the exhaustive “DO NOT DO” list that includes “BEWARE of the 30,000 people” to all my friends working in the Twin Towers to warn them of the impending situation. Those in the position of power were able to avoid the area by a 30 kilometers radius, while those who can’t planned their arrivals and departures accordingly.
As for me, I psyched myself up that the 3 hours pre-luncheon security clearance needed was akin to being in Heathrow … waiting to board the plane for somewhere exotic.
Judging from the above, you could safely conclude that I am not a fan.
See, I don’t get royalties to begin with, more so in this day of age.
Having said that, I have nothing against William’s grandma, purely because she generates the most revenue and pays the highest taxes amongst the British.
It’s those that sucks the tax payers money that I have a problem with!
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With no cameras allowed and the repeated reminders of “for the comfort of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, we ask you to refrain from taking any photographs of them at all times” … I was seriously getting more apprehensive and bored by the moment. I am after all one who does not really obey rules; more so rules relating to photography – I mean, I have risked my life taking secured military outposts, drug producing hamlets … what’s the risk of having an iPhone confiscated right???
Well, my biggest hurdle was trying to even spot Prince William and Katherine!
As predicted, my designated table was right at the back of the hall … not due to the price paid for it, but simply by the fact that I have lousy luck when it comes to draws. So, with them being no more than 6 centimeters in height with zero ability to ascertain the identity at such distance, all I had for amusement was iPhone shots of a 3-course meal, the invitation card and fellow luncheon partners all in a yellow hue …
… and of course some really bad grainy, unfocused shots of the royals being whisked off quickly as they walked past my table.
Penelope Will Kate 925 a
Since the photos above need no explanation… but me, being me … I have just one comment to make:
Britain, please get a professional political speech writer for your Royals! Learn a thing or two from the Obama presidential campaign {please}
Penelope Will and Kate 925 b
With the “no photos” rule, the 1,200 minus 1 (me) luncheon folks were reduced to life-size-cut-outs of William and Kate … oh how we abandoned ourselves and embrace card boards!!!
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8 thoughts on “the day I sniffed the same air as Price William + Kate …

  1. how the heck did you get the embossed invite?geeez-sus! you are every where these days. TV life interviews, radio interviews, newspaper center spread, commercials, socialite dinners, royal lunches now!!!no wonder no time to teh tarik with us any

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