exploring infatuation, lust, love and in-love

As I go about finding contents for the upcoming new geek-travel related blog, I am amazed as to how good my filing used to be.
Actually, I am amazed how it has gone downhill over the last 3 years… almost to non existence.
The good thing about the past is I am still able to locate itineraries that were drawn 12-15 years ago!
My best and most comprehensive would have been done in 2001 – the longest overland trip I had ever done with my sister covering Southern Spain.  And interestingly that was also the only London trip I had done with her. We have been going to London almost yearly, sometimes twice a year – not including work transit/ en route type of trips – but independently.
So this was one trip I’ll never forget. This was one trip where my sister and I were young, careless, and single women finding themselves. This was also the one trip where we lugged and used between the two of us 40 rolls of 36 exposure films.
Not everything about me ends up in a roll of film or digital pixels.
But this is something; about 2 or 3 years back, Val had them re-printed to make a travel journal scrapbooking album. Despite it being a decade ago, we could instinctively tell out of the 1,220+ photos which were taken by who, just by virtue of style.
However, unlike her, I just don’t have the energy and patience to locate the film, set-up the light box and painfully scan the negatives. So, you’ll have to do with zilt photos here and take my word that it was one special trip… uh huh, films can be so cumbersome!
Photo by Penelope Haque | All Rights Reserved

Having said that, I do strangely have an affinity for film.

It’s the rich colours.

And like my love for my late Lord Rover the Miniature Pinscher that smells funny, film have a funny smell too.

But it saddens me to think too much about film. Inasmuch as thinking about late Lord Rover the Miniature Pinscher.

Too much past. Too much history

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On a somewhat related story (you just have to bear with me, if you are new to my blog or ain’t a friend in real life), I had dinner and later coffee with an old professor of mine.
The one that kindda got my brain all wacky enough to read Adam Smith and Karl Marx in its original form not to mention the driest reading materials that could really start a bush fire in Australia. However, had it not been his brilliance – he’s really just too smart and I’ve not met anyone more well-read than him – I would not have turned in best essays one after another.
He was the epitome of a coach.
Mean. Not a word of kindness ever. No encouragement.
Had you been present in our sessions, you’d be convinced this bloke is immortal and had not moved on from the Victorian or even the dark ages era of harsh treatment to all.
No praises.
Not even if you pass out at the top of the class with glowing testimonials from other profs!
Oh well, being a romantic at heart who lives by the day – that’s another chalk and cheese example of the characters at play in this unique ‘relationship’ – he posed this simple but profound question:
have you ever been in love?
Of course nothing is as straight forward and while he pushed for an answer exploring instances after instances, I pushed for a definition of infatuation, lust, love and in-love.


With the first two easily defined, examples of all relational permutations were laid out on the table in the context of love and in-love. Very quickly new aspects crept in, especially in the context of parent-child, spouse and authoritative relational relationships.
For instance, most people would define and distinguish in-love with love with the willingness for total abandonment of self-interest such as sacrificing careers, giving up opportunities and at the extreme, giving up one’s life in time of extreme crisis or intense pressure.

but is that really love? Or being in-love? Or responsibility
in the parent-child context?

but is that really love? Or being in-love? Or commitment
in the spouse context?

but is that really love? Or being in-love? Or loyalty
in the master-subservient context?


However, as the Moroccan mint latte took effect on my system … and I was more relaxed and honest with myself, the answer is: yes, I have been in love once [read HERE]
The trials and tribulations … the highs and the lows … where each minute felt like a year … where thoughts, emotions and confusions were magnified. And like I had blogged earlier in relation to being in-love with my ‘oxygen’, Good Things Don’t Last … rest in peace and happy anniversary. 

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someone blogged about it HERE. my opinion? it’s written by a girl… it has girlish ideals …
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6 thoughts on “exploring infatuation, lust, love and in-love

  1. Yes and No Ben.I miss my Lord Rover like crazy and yes I LOVED him like crazy too … but if you mean the being in love then no, not Lord Rover.It was before I knew/ met you.So you've not met/ heard about him.

  2. wow…gilah. if 5 days means around 16hours a day. if 7 days means around 12hours a day….u can almost match me!! lol. yeah, real la. nak tau tempat2 makan also….lol. delimagasih

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