on failing exams!

I don’t do failure well.
But when it was shared that the passing rate per sitting is less than 50% and almost everyone passes the 2nd time, it sounds very much like the Malaysian driving license racket!
But only this is not a racket.
Legendary names of people who have failed was shared. And I meant it when I say legendary…
  • even the near perfect CGPA fully qualified actuary fails …
  • those very high up the organisational hierarchy fails …
It almost sounds like it’s cool to fail and you’ve got to be a freak to pass the first time round which reminds me of my General Insurance and Life Insurance exams.
I had score an “A”.
I wished I didn’t.
Even the invigilators exclaimed with shocked that a loser scored an “A” when the computer generated my results.
The entire room looked up to have a good look of the loser.
And at the post exams celebration dinner almost everyone in the dead silent room earlier had come up to my table and said,
“oh you. hmmm … “ or
“what?!?! you got an “A”?” or
“ha ha ha (index finger pointing at me) … haiyoh, “P” enough oredi loh to sell. sales important. not exam. ha ha ha (clutching the midriff in pain while I channel evil energy for the person to cultivate chronic stomach ulcers)
Of course, what’s important for me was not sales.
What’s important was to get the certification so that I could enjoy my own policy rebates. Idiot!
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
The first and last time {thus far at least} I failed was in Year 7 – Additional Maths.
I score 49% and the teacher had said with a very disappointing look, “if you can find something worthy of 1% in there, I’ll pass you. Ask my daughter to help you.”
Her daughter had scored a 99%.
I bet the -1% was for having the same genes as her mother; a point deduction to show that she was impartial to even her daughter.
Of course, I was too shaken to search for the 1%.
Maybe pride may had a hand in not allowing me to pass on charity.
Instead I feigned sick.
Hell, I don’t need to pretend really. Not on this front.
I have very good grip of my mind over matter when it comes to “get a temperature in the next 30 minutes.” or “throw up now” … yes, I can do any of these at the drop of the hat including “cry now”
I went home early, spent the rest of the 6 hours hiding in the closet in a foetal position going through the question paper in my head over and over again while crying out of self pity and self hatred.
I finally emerged and took another paper the next day – we were given that option back then.
But usually the re-sit is one heck of a mother{blip}bugger.
I scored a 99%.
This time I think the -1% was for making the teacher mark the paper again.
I had no idea why I flunk the first round that was heaps easier.
Actually I do know.
I never forget my mistakes.
I was so nervous I couldn’t remember goddamn pi.
Now, this is one number I will still remember to murmur out in my last few remaining breaths in this world!
Damn you pi!
But seriously, it’s thank you pi! You gave me my first life lesson of failing.
Now back to the dilemma … I should really stop.
Else this is going to be another case of pi … cos in this case, there’s really no prep you can do.
It’s all about applying experience in assessing the 3 case study and the 10 test questions.
One needs zen.
I must at least practise the systems bits from a user POV.
At the very least get some brownie points there!

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