on distraction …

i’m designing my home
OK. Mebbe the operative word should be “trying – as in I’m trying to design my home.
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Well, for one, I can draw floor plans with AutoCAD. 
This is a skill I had more or less self taught after being given a quick 10 minutes hands-on demo by a architect friend (or kindda colleague as I was kindda moonlighting as a visual merchandiser). 
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And NO. I do not have a self inflated ego or misplaced perceptions on my abilities to think that I can forgo an architect and design my own home. Contrary to it, really, on all aspects, though I am still rather upset at H’s statement earlier this week of: common’ your feat was not in the same league as beating Raphael Nadali.e. in reference to Australian wild card Nick Krygios‘ mom’s lack of support or rather faith in her son’s ability to knock out the likes of Raphael Nadal at the Wimbeldon 2014
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Well, my mom is much the same when it comes to me. And sure, I’ve nothing to shout about on the accomplishment front at the same league as that, but …yes, I was moaning about how under-appreciated I am vis-a-vis my sibling in the presence of both mom and H, rather playfully. It’s the truth though but I have long grown up and accepted it as is.
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Truthfully, i’m designing my home coz I have trust issues.
Coupled with my OCD inclinations, I have to have it all nailed down before I start soliciting real professional help. I’m visual too – so having a plan in front of me would take away a lot of pain and frustration of trying to explain my brief to the architect.
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So, how am I doing on the front of i’m designing my home?
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First and foremost, does anyone know where I can get a bootleg version of AutoCAD?!?! 
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The 3-year student FREE trial version from the official site does not permit downloads in my part of the world – not surprising given the rampant and what used to be lucrative bootleg business of software programmes, movies, music blah3 … not to mention we have one of the highest rate of credit card frauds as well.
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I am not propagating and/or supporting the above, but honestly, we aren’t talking about buying an original movie/ music DVD or CD that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. An AutoCAD programme for someone who just wants to muck around and pre-design her home does cost an arm and a leg plus a couple of kidneys. What are we looking at here? A set-back of circa MYR12,000!!! Now, to put things into perspective, minimum wage is only MYR10,800 per annum – gottit?
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Secondly, I am so obsessed, I am totally sleep deprived.
I’ve found a 7 days trial version of a simplified “autoCAD” floor plan drawing that has been designed to work on Microsoft Office – Smartdraw – and have been at it for 7 days. The results are 2 plans … and I’ve got a buzzing idea on my head for Version 3.0, but am still too cheap to pay close to USD200 for the floor plan programme (MYR625).
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As for the 2 plans …
with everyone’s “wish list” included I ended up with Version 1.0 being at 16,000+ sq ft built up … only to quickly realised that neither the width nor the length of the house can be beyond 100 feet as that would be way beyond the parcel’s size.
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Though at the back of the mind, a 16,000+ sq ft house is ludicrous for a family of two (+ possibly 1) … and perhaps a little Chihuahua dog named “frog” that currently resides in two adults imagination* … I didn’t quite scale the house down due to its sheer largeness and impracticality but rather worked on Version 2.0 on the guided premise of bringing both the width and length to below 90 feet!
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And thus, emerged Version 2.0 at magically one quarter of its original size to a stunning 4,000+ sq ft! A much more realistic size.
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Malaysia-Chihuahua-Puppy-21105-copy

* “frog” the dog does exist in a pet shop in suburbia Kuala Lumpur … the thing is I do not own “frog” though the thought of it has been tempting and haunting … “frog”, unlike his other friend, game us the Charles Dickens Oliver Twist look with his big eyes!

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But more importantly i’m designing my home because I need a distraction.
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whoa! Let’s start over with you holding back your judgments on my “rich-spoilt-brat” proclamation of “I need a distraction”.
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I’m somehow going to say this as delicately as possible without offending anyone or any organisation, especially the one that I am currently attached to, which I have some grievances with regards to drawing a line between professional and private life and one’s visibility on the world wide web. My short and quick respond to that? I’ve blocked almost everyone at work from my sites post a conversation with HR!
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So, I digress – back to the need for distraction!
The past two years in consulting can be summarised quite easily as the least productive years of my career.
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I had left the bank in search of some peace and quiet. After 6 years, commencing with start-ups to cross-borders integrations, I was burned out and many had advised that I take some time off in a more relaxing environment. I did. I am.
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On one hand, I have enjoyed the complacency and treasure the flexibility and freedom in terms of time and hours. On the other hand, I miss the “dog-eat-dog” culture of large performance-rewards differentials.
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The “one happy family” superficial environment of everything and everyone is hunky dory irritates me to no end. The high tolerance level of varied performance and mostly mediocrity upsets me. Yet, I enjoy the time-off and lack of discipline that comes with it. The absence of corporate governance and enforcements. The lackadaisical attitude driven mostly by ignorance of HR.
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So, what do I do?
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Re-enter the “dog-eat-dog” world with way higher performance pay upside with commensurable stress?
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Stay and enjoy a relatively high wage-per-effort/ achievement? (while missing out to my cohorts in the longer run?)
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I am yet to decide. I do have a stressor that does make me consider leaving 3 out of 5 days. But this feeling goes away with the increasing absence at work.
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With that, I decided I needed a distraction that would keep me occupied, if not obsessed for a couple of years … and so, i’m designing my home
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I.A.A.R {reboot error}

We speak in acronyms. A lot.
It’s our special “language” … and so one of those that is frequently typed out or articulated is “IAAR” or “I am ALWAYS right”. 
It’s not hard to be always right being the more cynical one. Being the more critical one. Being the one who has to toss an idea over and over in my head … I am Libran with a dash of OCD. 
OK, with more that a dash … definitely more than a mere dash.
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+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
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Conductor Stéphane Denève is the epitome of a child’s imagination of what a classical musician conductor should be; dramatic and expressive with a big hairdo of curls that lends an air of artistic genius. 

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Steven-Osborne_0

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Paired with Scottish piano virtuoso Steven Osborne who played Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 2, that entered center stage after the haunting beauty of Vocalise that has captured the public fancy since its premiere in 1916, June 14th was a beautiful evening for me, even when I managed to have a run in my navy blue lace dress!
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Basked by the Petronas Twin Towers’ lighting and distant sounds of laughter of couples and holiday makers taking selfies, we begun a cultural discourse where some where midway I made the mistake of verbalising my wishful thoughts of: you know what would be simply magical? If we were in Vienna or Salzburg …
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Within a week under the undue influence of others heading that direction for the summer break, weddings and of course visits to the patriarch home, dreamy plans were made about driving down the autobahn from Switzerland to Austria only to be “squashed”very quickly by practical me who for one will be in Eastern Europe (not Central) and more importantly will not be within the European Union vicinity for the next 2 weeks from the proposed trip – simply said, the dates did not jive, and yes, we do unfortunately need to work for a living and can’t be sitting idle in Europe for extended period of time to ‘catch’ the Salzburger Festpiele!
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That aside, I got talking about a British french horn musician I used to know who was attached with the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra – not in very favourable terms nonetheless, due to his mismatched expectations of an employer and real abilities/ talent and actual contribution. Being passionately (and often misplaced) patriotic, I had personally thought that he should be grateful for the break in his otherwise Broadway musical career …
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But, more importantly for someone who spent two seasons playing no more than 60 minutes live, one could well said it was a very lucrative job! and he has really nothing to complain about … I mean, seriously, how pivotal is a french horn anyways? How many pieces out there actually has the french horn playing a important role, let alone as the star of the show?
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… and then, as if by curse, picking up the 2014/2015 Season brochure, I flip it open and stared at this:
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Screen shot 2014-06-29 at 3.24.22 PM
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I took a photo and sent it across with the message: I.A.A.R {reboot error}
Hell yes! I got a lot of pissing for that.
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But what do I know?
I was a child who spent her youth wrecking my piano with tears, practising for the dreadful Associated Board of Royal Schools of Music … unable to play a single piece despite having a Grade 8 certificate.

 

updates on recommendation and another recommendation

Being mad I guess has its upsides.

And had it not been some people with idle time in their hands to defame me, I would not have combed through 2 years worth of my Facebook status updates looking for evidence!

{of course there was none. IDIOT. there, I said it with no future remorse… IDIOT}

OK. Evidently I am still mad.

Evidently I need to learn to forgive and forget – maybe – I haven’t decided if that’s necessarily a developmental area I want to work on.

So… anyways, as a result of my ‘combing’ I stumbled across the link to the website Fortydaysofdating.com I had recommended earlier as being in the “mmmm… interesting” category.

For those who aren’t privy to it earlier, it’s a website chronicling the dating journey of two friends who have known one another for 4 years who happened to be single at the same time and decided to take on a 40-day dating challenge with one another.

Since, I know lots of people hates spoilers, I’ll let you discover the ending yourself … I just have one comment to make and no, you do not need to shut your eyes – I can’t believe they have an online shop as a result of this experimentation. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to dish out USD35 for the posters they illustrate over the 40 days – yes, they are designers.

 

Another “mmmm… interesting” category or to be fair “wow! damn good” category is Dispatch Wizard by Wael Abdelgawad. It’s creative writing on being Muslims set in San Francisco. 

 

 

As Wael says:

This story can be read on its own, but is more properly read as a sequel to “The Deal” and “Kill the Courier”. If you have not read those stories yet, please do so. See the Story Index for a chronological guide to all the stories.

 

Do check it out.

I’m tempted to read The Deal, Kill the Courier … but my bed calls…