men! they just don’t listen do they?

OK. I shouldn’t be complaining. 
H finally delivered Hermes – after four transits with 3 immigration officers raising their eyebrows, causing unnecessary exchanges along the lines of:

yes, it’s a typewriter. You know, an old fashion mechanical one.” 
{pause} 
yes, yes, they still exist. yes, it’s in working order.” 
 
The “why?” question by the immigration officers is a tougher one to explain and I shall not bore you. Suffice to say, H got Hermes home and Hermes did have a small home coming party.
 
See, H “listen” only because he didn’t really have a choice.
Let’s say, I had listed down 8 choices of typewriters – ranked by preferences and furnished the list with enough technical and detailed information for a cave man to work a jetliner.
 
Simply put, the margin of error was so slim, that only time (arising from flight delays and transits) could deny Hermes from re-homing all the way from a wayward sleepy town 2.5 hours drive from central London. 
 
Read differently, with my Idiots Instruction for Men, every man I have known or shared any gift lists have remarked: “if only my {insert other half} does that. My life would be simpler.”
 
Point is, men! they just don’t listen, do they?
And here’s the most recent incident with not one, but two men on the same matter at hand: 
Bottega Veneta + iPad
 
I for one am not an embracer of electronic gadgets. 
  • I dread my Blackberry coz it’s work and more so, coz my work place is too cheap to get me a decent hardware.
  • I own a hand-me-down iPhone 4 (I think, could well be 4s – if there’s one) coz my older hand-me-down iPhone 3 from my 3-year old “died” and I needed to have my alternative private number going with a handy camera that’s decent enough for Facebook uploads.
  • I still miss my ol’ faithful Mac PowerBook G4 and kept it for 10 years! until it was brutally taken away from me by force.
  • I happily owned and watched a 14″ TV (you know, the rotund type with colour tubes at the back!) for years until the security camera company decided to take matters into their own hands by hooking it up to the security cameras and installing the flat screen TV (courtesy of a credit card company) in the rotund TV’s place – the flat screen being so flat has been lying against the wall in its original box for ages.
  • … and you get the drift …

So, it did come as a surprise when I bought a Bottega Veneta iPad case early this year. I do not own an iPad. I do not see a need or point in having one. 

{call me an irrational idiot, but uh huh, i did see a need want to buy a Bottega Veneta iPad case though}  
Let’s just say it was a distraction for me from buying the Ardoise Intercciato Nappa Convertible Bag, which even with a 30% off it was a small fortune…
 
And with that, I was on a mission to get myself to a Mac store and grab an iPad… until my girl friend, the very same one who handed me down the iPhone 4/s, mentioned that there was a little contest going on at work which she was in pole position to win due to the sales extension given to her by me! 
 
So, the wait started at the end of Q1 … with us checking in intermittently to know if “we” were still in pole position to win the iPad. 
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Well, fast forward 4 months later – “we” WON! Instruction was given to the procurer was: do NOT get the iPad mini
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As you will be able to guess how this story ends since the procurer is a man… well, the point is: men! they just don’t listen, do they?
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bottega-veneta-tech1
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 – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
things to note:
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
ONE 
Man buys things at the very last moment. 
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The iPad mini was bought at the Hong Kong airport, just as he was about to board the plane to Manila … receipt including what he had to eat pre-boarding is in the bag! 
 
TWO 
men! they just don’t listen, do they? (I) – coz whenever a woman talks, their brain is processing various other things that includes seriously trivial stuff or how to get into your pants!
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He bought an iPad mini coz all he remembered /retained was “iPad mini” in the midst of thinking of other things …
 
THREE 
men! they just don’t listen, do they? (II) and makes the stooopidest remark whenever a woman is upset like: “what’s the difference? they both work the same and a mini will fit into your handbag better
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H said that when I told him how disappointed I was as the iPad mini is of no use to me given that it’s raison d’être (for me at least) was the Bottega Veneta iPad case …
 
FOUR 
men! they just don’t listen, do they? (III) and makes the most idiotic promises that upsets a woman even more like: “just buy another Boot-leg whatever and give the current case away
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I am certain H will regret this statement if his credit card is swiped! and will remember for life that it is Bottega Veneta and not Boot-leg-whatever!!!

 

i said typewriter. not kindle … but what the hey!

H yanks out his mobile and says “oh, better key-in your birthday”

I eyed him suspiciously, undecided if I was offended that he will forget had it not been the aid of technology.

“What?!? Men are not genetically programmed to remember things like that.”

Pfff… I thought under my breath.

Sensing he was in trouble he added quickly, “I know I’m going to fumble and fail. So tell me what you’d like for your birthday.”

I gave it some thought. Well, I could come up with a list.

But truth is birthdays are never a big deal with me. I mean, I spent my second chance at being 18 years again with a cat I detest and speaking of which, it’s Kelly-the-Cat’s “mom” birthday today. Had it not been the whatsapps with the boy’s reminder, I would have forgotten about it! Well, I can’t be blamed if the oldies aren’t on Facebook with the oh-so-convenient birthday reminders app… and yeah, who am I to be offended with H’s not-so-often sensibility of scheduling my birthday into his calendar?

So while I was mulling about it  (which honestly I didn’t need to coz a few days back while waiting for the hair conditioner to set-in, I had thought of what I wanted H to get me – muahahahahaha …), H added, “Oh I know. I’ll get you a painting.”

Wait-a-minute! My breath hitches. What if I hate it?!??? So I responded, “Nope. Unless it’s a Banksy.”

“Sorry sweets. Banksy’s out of my reach.” Oh well. You are forgiven. Banksy is out of 99.99999% of mere mortal’s reach.

I finally said, “I want a typewriter.”

“A typewriter?”, was the respond with an arched eye brow before H launched into a speech – which is a rarity – on the limitations of a typewriter.

It was cute. I had to put my index finger on his lips to stop him before dramatically announcing, “B…bb…but Ernest Hemingway has a typewriter!” which if anything encouraged him to go on about how Earnest Hemingway, had he continued to live on to be 115 years old this year would have whipped out his iPad to type his manuscript.

But really, it wasn’t about the mechanical machinery that bothered H. Rather, “you do know I won’t know where to get a typewriter right?”

Yup.

But I did know where to get one. And I do know who he could get in touch with to get me one.

But I couldn’t bring myself to say that I wanted a cutesy pink, sea-foam green or fire engine red vintage typewriter coz it adorable. That would have been way too girlish. Images of me getting a gawd awful black-grey plastic-ky one flashes in front of me … eweeeeee …. yuk! NO!

“OK. You know what? I’ll get you a Kindle.” {pause}“And you can have access to my credit card to buy all the e-books you want anytime.”

hmmm… that’s a great proposition. I’ve always wanted a Kindle, but have to really jump through some hoops and rings just to buy e-Books with a Malaysian credit card. So I thought about it for a while … not quite the gift I wanted … but before I could respond, H said, “We’ll hunt a typewriter in the flea market in France … or something … later. And you’re right. It’s your wish. If it’s a white elephant, it’s your HAPPY white elephant.”

Phew.

So though I couldn’t say I wanted a typewriter to journal the bits and pieces of notations I make into my travel journal coz I can’t bare the sight of my own handwriting … something that H wouldn’t be able to wrap around his brain coz he’s way too factual to get things where logarithm is not involved … H fulfills his personal need to get me something he can’t possibly fail in getting and/or something where there will be a use. And I get to hold on to the hope that I’ll eventually get a Remington, Olympia, Olivetti, or Royal typewriter! … and another trip to Les Puces de Saint-Ouen Market.

If you must really know how our brains work:

H is a person who would say, “that’s actually a cosine graph, “ … seriously WT{blip}

… but equally eye-balls rolling ridiculous, I am a person who says, “the teal coloured column on the right table …”

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